When to Offer and Ask for Help

If your aging parent or a loved one has been living independently and enjoying an active lifestyle, they might not be willing to admit that their mental and/or physical abilities are not what they used to be.

Not wanting to be a burden, they may be hesitant to reach out for assistance — that’s why it is important to know when it’s time to offer help.

Signs that indicate your loved one may need help include:

• Losing weight, having no appetite and missing meals. Take note of what’s in their fridge and what they are eating.
• Exhibiting signs of poor hygiene. Take note if regular habits like bathing, brushing teeth, trimming nails or combing their hair have changed or stopped. 
• Failing to take essential medications or unwillingness to get medical treatment for illness.
• Wearing clothing that’s inappropriate for the weather.
• Feeling confused, forgetting to pay bills or renew prescriptions, missing scheduled appointments.
• Ignoring or unable to perform household duties.
• Avoiding activities they once enjoyed, such as meeting with friends or going to religious services.

Unless the situation is critical, experts recommend involving your parent or loved one as much as possible in the decision-making process when planning for care. This can help ease their fears of losing control, and it shows that you have their best interests at heart.

Taking on Caregiving Responsibilities
Becoming a family caregiver is one of the most rewarding and stressful jobs you’ll undertake. Because you’re likely juggling many responsibilities, taking care of your physical health and emotional well-being are key to avoid caregiver stress. According to the American Psychological Association, caregiving strain is often more significant when caregivers don’t have enough resources (information, skills, social support, respite and community services) and feel overwhelmed.

Being aware of caregiver stress can help you take action. Signs and symptoms include:

• Having problems sleeping and concentrating.
• Experiencing new or deteriorating health conditions.
• Eating, drinking or smoking more than you have in the past.
• Neglecting your own needs and responsibilities.
• Feeling exhausted, rundown or resentful of your loved one.

Navigating family caregiving tasks
There’s no reason to feel like you have to go it alone. Asking for help with caregiving responsibilities can help you avoid caregiver stress.
Family members and friends are often ready and willing to help, but they may be unaware of your feelings or how they can help. Starting the conversation and sharing information can help everyone understand the situation and feel involved.

Be specific about the type of help you need and make a list of important tasks. Look for ways to divide caregiving responsibilities, such as running errands or buying groceries; managing bills and other financial duties; taking care of your loved one’s medications and doctor appointments; or researching additional resources for support.

If you or a loved one needs support navigating senior living option or is seeking tools and resources available in the community, do not hesitate to call the Martin Luther Campus. We are glad to share community resources, support groups, adult day program options and conversation to support you.

Contact Amy today at 952-948-5167 or ajames6@fairview.org