Communicating with an Elderly Loved One

Communication can be challenging even in the best of situations. Caregivers must discuss many difficult issues with their loved one. The problem may be further complicated if the older adult is suffering from memory loss and confusion. The following are suggestions to help caregivers talk with older adults:

• Hold discussions in a quiet setting at a time of day that is best for your loved one.
• Listen, Effective communication requires that you listen to and acknowledge the other person's opinions and feelings.
• Stay positive. Use constructive suggestions instead of blanket statements. 
• Provide accurate information to your loved one. Do not try to spare them by telling half-truths and by making promises you may not be able to keep. It's better to say, "We will work on keeping you in your home as long as you are able," instead of saying, "I will never put you in a nursing home," unless you are able to commit to 24-hour caregiving. 
• Allow your loved one time to process the information without rushing him or her into a quick decision. You don't want your loved one to react out of fear or guilt. Be patient. Some older adults need extra time to express themselves and process information.
• Involve other care providers in conversations. For example, if you are discussing a legal matter, it may be useful to involve an elder law attorney who can provide information in a more emotionally detached manner.
• Don't be afraid to share your own feelings and emotions. 

For more helpful information or resources to help you with Elder Caregiving please call Rachelle Lavalier at (952)948-5181 or email rlavali1@fairview.org

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